Better to be a lion in India than a monkey elsewhere!

In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg of meat a day. The lion thought its prayers were answered, when one day a Dubai Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to Dubai Zoo. The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day.
On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast. The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas. The lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach ashe had recently shifted from India.
The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.
The lion was so furious; it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, ‘Don’t you know I am the lion…king of the Jungle…, what’s wrong with your management?, what nonsense is this?, why are you delivering bananas to me?’ The delivery boy politely said, ‘Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle. .. but… you have been brought here on a monkey’s visa !!! ‘

Moral of the Story….

“BETTER TO BE A LION IN INDIA THAN A MONKEY ELSEWHERE”

The Haircut!!!

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’ The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you , I’m doing community service this week.’ The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, ‘I can not accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen other Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!

Computer Programmer

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

 The frog spoke up again and said, ”If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

 The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

 Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”

 The man said, “Look, I’m a computer programmer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”

Waz up, champ? 

 

Touching moment!

 

 On their way back from School Arjun started talking

Arjun :   Bro! I am moving to a different city to study. I will miss you man
Pargat:   I will miss you too mate. But nothing can break our friendship. We will at least meet once every year.
Arjun:   Yes that is a deal and they parted with tears in their eyes…  
As time went by, both got busy with their work life. They kept their promise for two years and after that they moved on with their own lives and in the process Arjun lost his contact with Pargat. Time went by and both became Police Officers.  

Year:  2009  
Venue:  The Police station where Arjun works  

Tring… Tring…  

Arjun picks up the call and he gets a pleasant surprise…  

“Is this Arjun?”  
“Yes. Who is on the line?”  
” Bro. Its Pargat! I just found out that you are posted in this station”  

Tear drops welled up Arjun’s eyes  

Arjun:   Where are you?  
Pargat: I am standing outside the Police station. Come Out  
Arjun:   Is it? I am coming right away.  

Arjun rushed out of the Police station and saw Pargat standing outside. They were seeing each other for the first time after thirty years. He wanted to go and hug his friend. But he could not hug his friend. It was a very touching moment for both of them :  

SCROLL.

SCROLL.  

SCROLL. 

 Have you ever seen a touching moment like this?

THE MEANING OF LIFE (IN LIGHTER VEIN)

On the first day, God created the dog and said: “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of 20 years.” The dog said: “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only 10 years and I’ll give you back the other 10?’

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a 20-year life span.” The monkey said: “Monkey tricks for 20 years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back 10 like the Dog did?” And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of 60 years.” The cow said: “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. How about 20 and I’ll give back the other 40?” And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you 20 years.” But man said: “Only 20 years? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back, and the 10 the dog gave back — that makes 80, OK?” “OK,” God said. “As long as you’re sure.”

So that is why for our first 20 years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next 10 years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last 10 years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

And that, my friends, is the meaning of life. Now you know.

Wife &Husband

Wife : ‘Do you want dinner?’

Husband : ‘Sure! What are my choices?’

Wife : ‘Yes or no.’

Humor of the week

 Three employees were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.

The first employee finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands

He then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully.

He used paper towel after paper towel and ensured that every single spot of water on his hands was dried

Turning to the other two employees, he said, “At Hewlett Packard, we are trained to be extremely thorough.”
The second employee finished his task at the urinal and he proceeded to wash his hands.

 He used a single paper towel and made sure that he dried his hands using every available portion of the paper towel.

 He turned and said, “At Lockheed-Martin, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be extremely efficient.”
The third employee finished and walked straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, “At Apple Computer, Inc. we don’t pee on our hands.”

Humor of the week

THE SUCCESS OF
MARRIAGE
 Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary.

They had
become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their
period of 25
years.

Local
newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their
well known “happy going marriage”.

 Editor: ” Sir. It’s
amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?
 ”
 Husband recalling his old honeymoon days
said:

” We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after
marriage.

Having
selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different
horses.

My horse
was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy
one.
On the
way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple
over.

Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse’s
back and said “This is your first time”.

She
again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it
happened
again.

This
time she again kept calm and said “This is your second time” and
continued.

When the
horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from
the purse
and shot the horse dead !!
I
shouted at my wife: “What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor
animal. Are
you  crazy?” ..
She gave
a silent look and said: “This is your first
time!!!”.”

 Husband: “That’s it.
We are happy ever after.  “

Joke of this week- Wiser student

Teacher: Children, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

Child: No, Sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook.

Teacher: Children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?

Student: Brotherly love

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

Student: A teacher

Teacher: Can any body give an example of coincidence? Student: Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day, also at the same time.